나 자신에게 보내는 편지

 Hi,

It’s been a long time. We haven’t talked a lot these days. How have you been? Are you doing well? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you eating well?

I had a lot of fun watching you grow up. The timid and shy girl now has become an independent, strong woman whose not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeves.

You’ve grown a lot, you know that?

I’m sure your dad must’ve been so proud of his little girl, whose now not so little anymore. If only he was still here… It’s okay, little girl, he’s been watching you and making sure you’re growing up well. I’m sure, up there, he’s saying, 

“Look at her! She used to be my little girl. I guess I should not call her that anymore. She has grown into a beautiful, mature woman whom I’m so proud of.” 

Will he brag about you like he used to? Oh, I’m sure he will ;)

Congrats for making it this far! 23, huh?

I’m sure the journey leading up here was not easy. Thank you for holding up and staying strong up until now. I know how hard it was for you, and you had your ups and downs throughout the time.

고생했어, 잘했어! ❤️

I know sometimes it’s easier to just say, 

“I give up! I can’t do this anymore,” 

but you… You pushed and went through it will all your might. You surprised me sometimes.

You know, if it’s hard just say it is and seek help from someone else. If you have enough on your plate, dare to speak up for yourself and say no. It doesn’t have to be you. I’m more worried about you than anything else.

Promise me to take care of yourself, to always have a full belly, to hydrate and drink more water, to take care of your health. And more importantly, to always be happy, sincerely happy.

Don’t stay up late often! It’s not good for your health and also your mind. Rest for now. Tomorrow, we will fight another battles. More will come your way, and it could be harder than you can imagine.

But I believe we can overcome that…

…because we have each other to rely on.

힘내! 잘할수있어!

난 널 믿어❤️

I love you too and more

She picked up the calendar next to her bedside table
Scarying all the numbers away as she scrutinized every detail of it

She was so lost in her train of thoughts

She never imagine ended up with him
As she never seen him more than friends
Denying every love existed in their friendship

She never imagine how lucky she would be
Actually started to open up her heart
For a person she used to avoid in her past

She never imagine how lucky she was
Accepting his love as he was
Openly accepting the fact that she was denying her heart for most parts
Stupidly believing that long distance would work (oh, it does anyway)

She still never imagine how truly lucky she is
As their infatuation grows each day
As the bitter parts make the heart grow fonder
Complementing the sweet parts like a little susurrations of pleasure
Like a wine that ages well

The hours flew by without notice

Angrily, she turned him down
Thinking he would forget the special day

However, he truly was a work of wonder
His words were like a cold wind on a summer night
Soothing her mind as tears fell down her face
Who is she to deserve such happiness in her life

She circled the calendar with a smile on her face and said,
"Two years and counting"

2018, thank you

2018 surely was not as easy as it sounds
I had to go through several phases of breaking down
Failures
Feeling not good enough
Unwanted
Did not meet some expectations
Over and over
Might as well say that 2018 was not my forté

But then again, 2018 has taught me a lot of things
Things I never planned to learn
Things I never thought I would need
Friendship
Wisdom
Patience
Knowledge
Experiences

To sum it up, 2018 - personified - would probably said, "Hey Yuan, I know I gave you a lot of hard times, but it is for your own good. It will make you strong, patient, and gritty. You will need it some time in the future. Now I will pass the responsibility to 2019 and I hope 2019 will take it well. You've done great. Keep doing that, ok? I believe in you. Just have faith and walk with a light heart. May your paths be eased and I wish you tons of luck!"

So here I am. At the beginning of 2019 and ready to face whatever God throws me into. Because I'm sure He will provide. He will walk with me and lead the way.

Happy new year to me and you! Wishing you will achieve many greater things ahead. May you gain the strength to be strong!

lean on me too

If someone asks,


"What did you learn the hard way until now?"


I believe most people would say,


"You can't rely on anyone but yourself"
"In the end, you only have yourself"
"You are your own hero"


I was like that too in the past, until someone said this to me,


"You can't walk alone. And neither am I. We need each other. If you can do it all by yourself, that's great. But isn't it much better if you can do it not by yourself?"


That words made me realize.

Wouldn't it be better if you have someone you can trust, someone you can rely on, without feeling like you are burdening them?

Wouldn't it be better knowing at the end of your horrible day, you can turn to someone, you can share what you've been through that day?

Wouldn't it be better to have someone by your side? Knowing you will always have a shoulder to cry on, a pair of ears to listen to all your rants and stories, and a hand to hold you when you feel it's been too much?

My advice for you is, please rely on someone. Even when you feel you can withstand it. Even when you feel you're strong enough.

Please be indebted to someone. Please let someone know what you've been through until now. Please let someone know you're not okay and you can't stand it anymore. Please let someone hold you when you feel like breaking apart.

And please, don't let yourself walk alone on that lonely road.


In life, sometimes you become indebted to others or you inconvenience others. It happens. Everyone lives like that. Don’t suffer too much on your own.

Because in the end, what helps you overcome obstacles isn’t brains, but someone who will take your hand and never let you go.

in order to love
you have to love
not someone
but yourself first

- put yourself first no matter what

Maturing my way out of life

*cue to the enthusiastic music*

Guess who's back!
I'm sure there's no audience waiting for my update on this site, but yeah I'll act like it
........just in case someone is looking at my twitter account and find this site

I went through all of my old posts, only to realize that I've been soooo mature and wise for someone with the age of sixteen-ish. But really, I'm so damn proud of you, my old self (this is where I give myself a pat on the back).

I'm nearing my 20 now, and wOw, time surely feels like it's flying at high speed.

I'm in the beginning of my 3rd year in university. The best advice I can give is: do enjoy your time with uni life. It is once in a lifetime, yes, and it would be such a waste if you take it for granted. Go outside of your comfort zone, as they always say. But this one's true. Nothing can be any truer. Uni life gives your life a very different perspective. It teaches you to stand strong on your own. It teaches you to be considerate of other people. It teaches you to always be present wherever and whenever you are. It teaches you that failure is just one step closer to success. It teaches you to be fearless. Basically, it teaches you literally anything you want to learn. So please don't just sit in your room after class has ended. Go mingle, find some adventure, and spread your wings, little bird!

You know what, being 20 actually scares me. 20 is a big number. This is where you actually start to be an adult, with real responsibility waiting ahead. This is the age when you start to think about the future. Your future. What will you do when you graduate from university, where will you work, what do you want to be in the future, will you find the right one for you, when will you plan on getting married, et cetera et cetera. All of these thoughts has been on my mind for a couple of weeks. I try not to think about it, but well, what can I do if I'm not going to think about it?
But maybe I don't have to think about it, not now at least. Maybe the best way to fight these thoughts is to just go with whatever life throws at you and figure everything out on the way. Isn't this so much easier to do? (no actually you still need a game plan just in case something unexpected happens).



I was laying on my bed this morning, scrolling through my phone reading some kindness story on steller. It made me want to share my own, so here it is.

Not too long ago, I went to the airport to pick my mom up with my father and sisters. My father asked me to go to the ATM with him because he needed to withdraw some money in my card. So I went with him.
I walked behind a guy who brought a big suitcase with him. The guy happened to go to the ATM too. I saw him struggling to open the door in front of me, so I did the only thing I could think of. I opened the door for him. He seemed startled by this and said thank you to me. I replied you're welcome with a small smile, mainly because I also was startled because of my act lol. I realized this is the kind of kindness story people used to share. And I actually did it!

Shortly, I was happy I could help that guy even if it's just opening the door for him.


Now my question is,
will you help me to spread kindness to others?

Untuk gadis bermuka manis
Yang menyimpan segenggam kisah pahit dan tangis
Di antara hujatan dunia yang bengis
Percayalah pada rentetan syair yang dengan cinta ditulis

Dunia mungkin tak seindah sastra
Tak sedamai maya
Dunia mungkin memberi banyak luka
dan sandiwara yang tak pernah sempurna

Tapi, Nak
Selalu ada alasan mengapa kita jatuh dan kalah
Selalu ada alasan mengapa hati harus menyerah
Karena pilihan yang dunia berikan tak pernah salah

Kamu tak perlu ragu
Ataupun merunduk malu
Kamu hanya perlu tau

Bahwa kamu lebih dari pantas untuk bertahan dan dipertahankan
Bahwa kamu lebih dari pantas untuk berjuang dan diperjuangkan
Karena baik kamu sadar atau abaikan...

Dunia membutuhkanmu lebih dari yang kau fikirkan

-KLA-


Surakarta, 7 September 2015